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Author Topic: Since it was veterans day...
CFrancisco
Member
Member # 33

posted 11-12-1999 09:12 AM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Lets have a bit of humor from the armed forces front
(TO all those who served and are currently serving Thanks for Keeping our homes and our borders safe)

How to Tell You are No Longer in the Army

1. I call my boss Mike, his boss Larry, and his boss Bob.
2. Kiwi regains its meanings as a flightless bird native to New Zealand.
3. I'm now making full use of both arms for carrying items, and save loads
of time not looking for my hat (once I realized I don't wear one anymore).
4. One look at my new paycheck and I now know why they called it the
L.E.S.(S). figure out what to wear to work.
5. I can again use the "passive" voice in my writing without the grammar
police smacking my knuckles.
6. Forget to shave? Just tell 'em you're starting your beard that day!
Haircut? Ha!
7. Can walk to the right side of Mike, Larry, and Bob without violating
some medieval concept of courtesy.
8. Have finally worked "Airborne", "Hoo-Ah", Sh*!", and "Fu#@" out of
my daily vocabulary.
9. Business lunches, golfing, and baseball season tickets are considered an
essential part of work.
10. The ability to run long distances quickly and do many push-ups or
sit-ups is not confused for intelligence, leadership potential, or degree of
motivation.
11. Have determined brown T-shirts and OD Socks go with nothing in the
real world.
12. Can fly to New Zealand to see small flightless birds without having to
get permission and a bunch of signatures on an DA Form 31.
13. Can't remember the last time the shoes I wore to work got any mud on
them.
14. Office empty at 5:15 PM. Only people left behind are ex-military
whose wives couldn't take the shock of seeing their spouses before
7:00PM.
15. No guards at the entrance to my subdivision.
16. All the years of learning great cadences wasted on the civilian world.
17. Discovered jumping out of a perfectly good plane on a business trip is
a federal offense.
18. If a cannon goes off at the office at 6:30 AM or 5:00 PM you call 911.

19. No harassment from people with nothing better to do than worry
whether my coat is zipped or not.


Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
CFrancisco
Member
Member # 33

posted 11-12-1999 09:25 AM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Heres one my friends in 5th Grp are sure to like.. LOL

Why SF is better than Force Recon

A marine recon platoon was on patrol when the lt. noticed a lone special
forces soldier standing on a hill top in their area. The lt. told two of his men
to go take out that man.

They promptly ran as fast as they could toward the sf soldier. Just before
they got to the top, the sf soldier ran over the other side of the hill. The two
marines followed. For the next few miniutes there were bloody screams
and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the
sf soldier came up on the hill top. He brushed off his bdu's, straightened his
beret, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the marines.

The lt., pissed, called for a squad to go get that sf soldier. They promptly
ran as fast as they could toward the sf soldier. Just before they got to the
top, the sf soldier ran over the other side of the hill. The marine squad
followed. For the next few miniutes there were bloody screams and dust
flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the sf
soldier came up on the hill top. He brushed off his bdu's, straightened his
beret, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the marines.

The lt. was really hot now. He ordered the rest of his platoon to attack the
sf soldier. Determined that the recon was far superior to the one sf soldier
they had blood in their eyes as they ran up the hill.Just before they got to
the top, the sf soldier ran over the other side of the hill. The marine's
followed.

For many miniutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. It
continued and continued. Finally there was one lone marine crawling back
to the lt., all bloody and beat about the head and shoulders. His bdu's were
torn, cuts were all over his body. The lt. asked for a sit.rep.

The lone marine, bloody and beaten replied in a forceful and fearful voice
"Sir, run, its a trick. There are TWO of them!!"


Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Karnak
Member
Member # 139

posted 11-12-1999 10:42 AM     Profile for Karnak   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
I feel a bit sheepish, but what does SF stand for?

Thanks

Sisu


Posts: 461 | From: San Rafael, California, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Donster
Member
Member # 196

posted 11-12-1999 11:45 AM     Profile for Donster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
I think it stands for Special Forces aka The Green Berets?

Donster


Posts: 10794 | From: Cedar Rapids, Iowa USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged

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