Invisibath -- The power to disappear at the first sound
of bath water
ViseHump -- The leg hump grip of steel
AquaField -- Immunity to bucket of cold water when copulating
Skeetvision -- The ability to shoot laser beams from
your eyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky
SuperBladder, loaded with Toxi-Urine -- One lift of the leg
and this town is mine!
SquirrelFreeze AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery -- Two powers which
when combined allow one to smell another dog's butt without
actually having to get up and move around.
John-O-Matic -- Turns any toilet bowl into a crystal
punch bowl by sheer force of will.
ChuckSpeed -- Ability to catch that friggin' Wagon Train
AntiPsych-Out -- Immunity to all that "fake throw"
VacuCalm -- Utter self control whenever the vacuum
cleaner is turned on.
GucciTract -- An invincible digestive system that
sustains itself entirely on designer shoes.
King Fido's Touch -- Everything you touch turns into a
DoberMorph -- Ability to change into a Doberman anytime
someone rolls up a newspaper
"Its a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear!"