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Author Topic: European Union phasing in new language?...
Airbuddha
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Member # 227

posted 12-19-1999 02:34 PM     Profile for Airbuddha   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The European Commission just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and all keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vuld of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil have a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Airbuddha


Posts: 430 | From: Slipper Gut, WV, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
mane_raptor
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Member # 845

posted 12-19-1999 02:37 PM     Profile for mane_raptor   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Vat vil hapn tu al ze unemployed leterz? Don' zay hav un family?

------------------
Check six & aim for the cockpit.

[This message has been edited by mane_raptor (edited 12-19-1999).]


Posts: 6145 | From: Maine USA, Proud Member of ELF (EAW Liberation Front) | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
MajorLee
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Member # 386

posted 12-19-1999 03:56 PM     Profile for MajorLee   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
ROFLMAO!!!!! Mi stomak hurtz!!! Jesus Krist.... Zat es a klasik!!!! Pepsi ot ze nos....
Majer Le

[This message has been edited by MajorLee (edited 12-19-1999).]


Posts: 1374 | From: Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tailspin
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Member # 86

posted 12-19-1999 04:02 PM     Profile for Tailspin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Hmmmm...looks just like Germlish to me. This forum is way ahead of its time. Thats gotta be one of the best posts I've read yet! ROFLMAO!
Posts: 1895 | From: Metropolis USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Donster
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Member # 196

posted 12-19-1999 04:12 PM     Profile for Donster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Airbuddha,

Super post! My side still hurts from LMAO!
A&W Root Beer all over! Foam Everywhere!

Donster

[This message has been edited by Donster (edited 12-19-1999).]


Posts: 10794 | From: Cedar Rapids, Iowa USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Bigshot
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Member # 4

posted 12-19-1999 04:30 PM     Profile for Bigshot   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Apparently some of them there bigshots must be reading this here forum. Where else would they get such a goofy idea?
Posts: 1291 | From: Suttons Bay, MI, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
KMHPaladin
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Member # 240

posted 12-19-1999 06:37 PM     Profile for KMHPaladin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Heeheehee.... hahaha... ROFLMAO . You actually had me there for a second .

------------------
-KMHPaladin
- "The duty of the fighter pilot is to patrol his
area of the sky, and shoot down any enemy
fighters in that area. Anything else is rubbish."
Baron Manfred von Richthofen, 1917
- [email protected]



Posts: 794 | From: RPI - Troy, NY; originally from South Jersey | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tobiwan
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Member # 420

posted 12-19-1999 06:46 PM     Profile for Tobiwan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Oh geez! I'm pissing myself!

Then agian when you've seen what some people down in my neck of the woods do you English maybe it's not so bad...

no! it's bad!

The Queen's English forever!!


Posts: 893 | From: Amanzimtoti, KWA-Zulu, South Africa | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Karnak
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Member # 139

posted 12-19-1999 07:11 PM     Profile for Karnak   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Uch, zat on was VERY wel don, Airbuddha.

However, I fear, that I must second Tobiwan. We must support the Queen's English. Tut tut, and all that, you know. Well, I'm off.

Sisu


Posts: 461 | From: San Rafael, California, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
VonBroam
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Member # 39

posted 12-19-1999 08:45 PM     Profile for VonBroam   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
I must say that it is the best guide to speaking Germlish I have ever seen. The EAW virus contiues to spread!!

VonBroam out
Semper Fidelis


Posts: 327 | From: Beaufort, South Carolina | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Reese
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Member # 156

posted 12-19-1999 08:56 PM     Profile for Reese   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Sounds like Newspeak, George Orwell would be proud. Good job Buddha. See you over the Channel.
Posts: 131 | From: | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Airbuddha
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Member # 227

posted 12-19-1999 10:33 PM     Profile for Airbuddha   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
LOL. I posted this one for Rommel. His Germanish Diktionary was the funniest thing I've read here. I've still got that. I saved it to MS Word. That was an invaluable guide to Germglish. I LMAO. I keep meaning to take it and give it it's own page on my website. I think I'll do that tomorrow.

Airbuddha

Rommel's Germanish Diktionary


Posts: 430 | From: Slipper Gut, WV, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
JG26*vonVampr*Gf
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Member # 1498

posted 12-20-1999 08:23 AM     Profile for JG26*vonVampr*Gf   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
HEHEHE!!! Well done!!!

von Vampr


Posts: 131 | From: Michigan , USA | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged
Papa Hotel
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Member # 996

posted 12-20-1999 11:06 AM     Profile for Papa Hotel     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Best laugh in weeks!!! (and embaressing too in the quiet university computer lab)
Posts: 80 | From: Groningen, The Netherlands | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
CFrancisco
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Member # 33

posted 12-20-1999 12:32 PM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
MEIN GOTT!! Ze zuper zecret language habe been released! ACH HIMMEL!!

HAHAHA Funny stuff.. i wet myself..OOPS did i say to much again..LOL


Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Stanley99
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Member # 169

posted 12-20-1999 05:56 PM     Profile for Stanley99     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Good one!!!

Stan

------------------
Every man dies, not every man really lives.


Posts: 3692 | From: Vienna, 3rd rock left | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tobiwan
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Member # 420

posted 12-21-1999 03:16 AM     Profile for Tobiwan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Hehehe...


Go Germglish!


Posts: 893 | From: Amanzimtoti, KWA-Zulu, South Africa | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged

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