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Author Topic: Is this the EAW forum?
Saint
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Member # 1011

posted 12-06-1999 09:26 AM     Profile for Saint   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Capt'n Saint was watching the furious battle raging down there (why are the jerries shooting at themselves now, he ponders..., well, let's not leave all the fun to them...)
Banks his P47 (Painted Black)to a hard left spinning turn and commes with the crosshair right on a smoking and firing Tiger1E from a 75 AoA...pulls the trigger like a Madman and looks at the tracers heading for the Tiger...

------------------
"I have a Cunning plan, Sir...."-Baldrick


Posts: 17 | From: Swindon, UK | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tobiwan
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Member # 420

posted 12-06-1999 11:57 AM     Profile for Tobiwan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Jacques Renard, famous resistance fighter from Quebec, turns to his friend and comrade, Artemis LeClerc and grins. He loves it when the germans fight each other. Why, he hasnt had this much fun since the incident with the pink T-34 at the target range.

Click, schick.

Beside him, Artimis had just chambered a round into his old Mauser rifle. Carefully he sights down the long barrel at the damaged Tiger Ie.

BANG, BANG, BANG...

Jacques has started firing his chrome Colt .45 into a thicket on the dark hillside a few hundred feet to thier left. Peering into the darkness, Artemis can see two germans crouching behind it. One of them is in a dark-brown suit and wearing a monicle.

Artemis swings his rifle towards the thicket.

"What the 'ell!" he thinks, they're all germans.......


Posts: 893 | From: Amanzimtoti, KWA-Zulu, South Africa | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
CFrancisco
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Member # 33

posted 12-06-1999 12:38 PM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
SCHIESS! LUFTZEUG!!! .. ALLES! AUSGANG!! ROUS!! mach schnell... Fritz! Gunther! .. LOS! ... *** as the Jug barrels down shooting his 50s the crew of "Dose Öffner" (box opener) the Immobilized TigerI bale out and run for the nearest cover bringing thier personal weapons now becoming dismounted infantry men**
Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
mane_raptor
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Member # 845

posted 12-06-1999 03:21 PM     Profile for mane_raptor   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
It figures a WWIIF player would not know that Bushmill's is the world's best Irish Whiskey and not beer. See what installing and uninstalling Jane's will do to ya...

------------------
Check six & aim for the cockpit.


Posts: 6145 | From: Maine USA, Proud Member of ELF (EAW Liberation Front) | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Schatten
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Member # 93

posted 12-06-1999 04:01 PM     Profile for Schatten   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Hauptman Schatten scans the night, he looks over his shoulder at Tailgunner Franz,"Ach Himmel, here ve go again, looks zhere ist zat Doktor Katzenjammer und his Panzerfaust again...Oi vey...Ummm Ach Himmel!" He drums his fingers on his controls and more and more explosions mushroom into the air,"See Franz ziz ist der trouble mit calling aus all der troops, Fratrizide..." He shakes his head then grins in a 2 rockets shy of a full rack way,"Ich leibe it!"

Franz shakes his head,"Vhat do ve do now Herr Hauptman?" Mmmm popcorn.

Shatten looks over his shoulder again,"Allright, vell we fooled zem for ein minute mit talk of Der Sekret Veapon auf Die Luftwaffe but zat verdamt Crocodile ist AWOL. So fire up Sekret Veapon nummer Zwei!"

Franz turns white as a sheet,"Mein Gott Nein! Not zat! Zat is too horrido to even contemplate mein Herr!"

Schatten nods and turns down the musik, fading it right off,"Ja I know..." He pulls on a set of black goggles and Franz, seeing that Schatten means business does likewise.

"Ahhhh zere ist der Heretic in ein fake looking 262, obviously provided by zat wench Jane...Ja, ve vill give him ein Jane...Mwuhhahhahaa!" Schatten continues cackling, Franz turns paler and covers his ears as...

Schatten rolls behind the 262 and waits until a cloudbank appears in front of the two planes,"Take zis Heretic! A gift from Herr Donster!!!" Schatten flips a switch an from the lower tray of the Ju-88 a high powered movie projector appears, an image forms on the cloud right in front of the 262...

Schatten takes a drink from his bottle of medicinal Jaegermeister and flips the switch for his loudspeakers, then starts talking in a raspy falsetto voice,"JayJ this ist your tart Jane, come to me leibchin..." Oh the horror of it all,"Du know du vant to, come mit me, momma has zom candy für du..." Schatten covers the microphone,"Franz, course to der Matterhorn?"

"257 mein Herr!" Franz says while looking down, way down at his instruments, he knows how the Horrido Factor of the Sekret Veapon can be more deadly than any Siren's song. "Zis ist just mean..."

"Shaddap Franz und guide der projecktor!" Then back into the microphone, in that horrible falsetto voice,"Steer 257 JayJ Janie has ein Spitfeur vaiting zere for du..."

Schatten grins with glee, then remembers something,"Ach Schiesse!" He gets on the All-EAW band,"Mein Herren, ignore zat voman behind der curtain of cloud! If you value your lives..." He shrugs, oh well scheisse happens, and it surely will now...

------------------
Schattenjäger

"Der Horrido...Der Horrido..."


Posts: 2938 | From: Land of the Lost | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Donster
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Member # 196

posted 12-06-1999 04:23 PM     Profile for Donster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Herr Schatten,

YOU ARE A MENTAL CASE! SICK! SICK! SICK!
SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON OUR SIDE! HEE HEE HEE!

REMEMBER! DO NOT LOOK STRAIGHT INTO HER EYES!


DO NOT FORGET THIS! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK? THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU LOOK INTO HER EYES!
ALWAYS WEAR PROTECTION! (I was talking about eye protection! You wouldn't stick your weasel into soething like that, would you?)

Donster


Posts: 10794 | From: Cedar Rapids, Iowa USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Schatten
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Member # 93

posted 12-06-1999 04:45 PM     Profile for Schatten   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Why thank you Herr Donster, I resemble that remark.

Und remember all who would sully this forum: A sane man will never prevail against the insane, when they are united! Up der Cult of EAW!!!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled insanity...Danke.

------------------
Schattenjäger

"Der Horrido...Der Horrido..."


Posts: 2938 | From: Land of the Lost | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Airbuddha
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Member # 227

posted 12-06-1999 06:33 PM     Profile for Airbuddha   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Hey! No fair! Mr. Spielberg (JayJ) wrote me out of the script.

Hmm, maybe there will be a spinoff?

Airbuddha - I ain't had so much fun since the hogs ate my baby brother!


Posts: 430 | From: Slipper Gut, WV, USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Schatten
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Member # 93

posted 12-06-1999 06:49 PM     Profile for Schatten   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
One of the Grips (ever wonder what they really do to get that name?) for the production hurriedly runs up to Airbuddha and hands him a note:

"Herr Airbuddha. Look behind the Outhouse..."

It is signed: Hauptman Schatten, LuftW

The Grip beckons Airbuddha over to the outskirts of the outhouse where a fully fueled and armed P-38 painted up in Luftwaffe nachtcamoflague and insignia, has been parked...(Hey we capture plenty of planes too!) Ahem, the keys are in the ignition...

------------------
Schattenjäger

"Der Horrido...Der Horrido..."


Posts: 2938 | From: Land of the Lost | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Donster
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Member # 196

posted 12-06-1999 07:35 PM     Profile for Donster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
This photo was taken of jayj the janes boy as he was running for his life from this forum!

Photos don't lie. And aren't the initials just a little to coincidental?


Donster


Posts: 10794 | From: Cedar Rapids, Iowa USA | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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Member # 666

posted 12-07-1999 02:30 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Tannethal has after the glorious attack on the Flankern base with a borowed Fw190G (only brid that ranged this far) and his rude ejection out of the flammenjaeger finally made it back to the base of II/JG 26. He passes wrecked butcherbirds as he walks over the concrete towards a wrecked hangar, where some mechanicans sit on some boxes playing cards and drinking cognak.

"Siegfried, Hans-Joerg, Eberhard, whatz los hier? Himmel Arsch und Zwirn what is happend to zhe Flugzeugs?"
The mechanicans jump up at the sight of their commanding officer and one starts to speak.
"Herr Leutnant gut daz ze da sin. zhere was a
heavy airangriff by zome mosquitos zhis night and after dusk zhere came american fliegers zhat strafed what waz left!"

"Schatten huntz a naked man with hiz Nachtjager un zhe Mossies take my base apart!
Where iz a working telefon I will call zhe Oberkommando! Und give me zhe bottle I need a drink!"

"Over zhere at zhe platzkommandatur iz a telefon." replies Siegfried and handles the bottle over.Tannethal takes a big gulp and throws the empty bottle over his shoulder, where it desintegrates when hiting the concrete. Then he walks past the smashed aircrafts once being his famous squadron, now a mere smoking mess towards the command post.
As he enters a private jumps to attention and
shouts:
"Achtung!!" Some more staff soilders jump to attention.
"Klappe, schluss mit zhe lazy rumgesitze, zeht zu zhat zhe craters on zhe runway get filled und raumt zhe Rubish weg!"
He walks over to the Telefon while the soilders hastily leave the room
"Vermittlung zhe Oberkommando of zhe Luftwaffe un quick!"
As he waits to be connected his eye catches a old newspaper article reporting about the sucessfull attack of Rommel against the EAWhacker in his underground hideaway
"I bet Shultzie haz heavy modified Rommels plane."he whispers to himself and his thougts drift away thinking over a battle he has missed. He is suddenly disrupted by a harsh command voice
"OKL Oberst Momper speaking!"
"Herr Oberst, zhere is Lt. Tannethal 9.JG26 I urgently request replacement Aircrafts, cause my base is smashed!"
"Zee what we have left..... Aha I have zome Fw190D11 (thanks to Charles and ECAPanel) sitting in Marienburg on zhe factory runway, you will have to take zome pilots and pick zhem up"
"Zhanke Herr Oberst I will sofort loslegen!"


Will Tannethal get the aircrafts for his squad or is there a marauding A26 Invader up in the air and up to no good?
What's going on with Schatten?
And why does the naked Janes flieger look like a alien?


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Edwin Rommel
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posted 12-07-1999 03:23 AM     Profile for Edwin Rommel   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
A bumpy landing at night on a barbed wire strewn French beach in a damaged 410 with a missing wing-tip cannot be done. But somehow Rommel manages to do so. The 410 comes to a sliding halt just in front of a sign saying “Achtung- Minen”. The canopy slides back and Rommel and Shultzie steps out, looking up at a far away droning sound, and what looks like Flashes of lightning playing against the clouds

“Shultzie- do you think zhat ist a storm brewing up zhere- I would hate to spent a wet night on zhis beach!”

“Nein, Herr Feldmarshall, zhat looks strange- somevhot like ze moving picture in ze clouds?- Must be somevhot ob ze new secret weapon- Nun if we can find somevhot Benzin, I am sure ve could get ze 410 going again- let uns go and look”

The two men leave the beach- walking towards a row of bushes, The out of fuel Me 410 remains on the beach, waiting for their return- far-off sounds of gunfire can be heard, and what looks like the abandoned hulk of a smoking Tiger 1E are backlit by explosions on the skyline from time to time, must be some sort of war going on?


Posts: 4399 | From: Dusty Oasis, Nord Afrika | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Dr. Katzenjammer
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posted 12-07-1999 03:53 AM     Profile for Dr. Katzenjammer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
"Hahahaha- Got du now Von Hess"- Katzenjammer throws the Panzerschreck to one side, and rolls over to the nearby MG42 on a Bipod -stand and janks the loader backwards and slams the first round in the belt home, he slaps Chrakinphotz on the helmet- “Fertig- Loßgehts!- Feuer!”

Chrakinphotz needs no further encouragement- bright green tracer rounds fill the evening sky, first high, but getting closer to the receding figures of the tank crew as his untrained aim improves.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP.

Katzenjammer slaps him on the helmet again- “Loß dumkopf- you do not want to burn out ze barrel- do it like ze Vieniese waltz- ja?- Feuer!"

Chrakinphotz resumes firing , following his new instructions

BRRAAPP TTT TTT, BRAAPPP TTT TTT

The bullets rips and screams through the air-getting closer to their target all the time.


Posts: 102 | From: Tranzelvania | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Jacques Renard
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Member # 884

posted 12-08-1999 01:40 AM     Profile for Jacques Renard   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Jacques Renard puts down his radio and smiles at Artemis. Artemis has know Jacques long enough to know that no good can come of this.

To the left of them two germans are manning a tripod mounted LMG which is spraying the valley plain and beach with green tracer fire. By the illumition from the burning Tiger Ie two figures can be seen running from a twin-engined german plane parked on the beach. Down the hill ahead of them the crew of the Tiger are trying to take cover behind some trees while firing back with their Lugers.

A dull roar fills the air. Jacques' grin gets even bigger. Artemis thrown himself down a black twin-engined aircraft screams past just above their heads and down the hill side. It looks like a Dakota, but is too small to be one. A black cylindrical object falls from a rear cabin door as the aircraft gracefully banks off to the left and over the beach.

"Close you eyes!" says Jacques as he puts his hands over his face and puts his head against the grass.

"Oh S***!" Thinks Artemis as he does the same, barely seconds before the object explodes.

The whole valley goes, for an instant, very bright white. The plane, now clearly visible as a Boeing 247 is skimming away just above the sea.

The bright light is replace by a full yellow glow as fragments of the flash bomb fall to the earth.

Has the FAR been given the advantage it needs?


Posts: 15 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Dr. Katzenjammer
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Member # 750

posted 12-08-1999 02:12 AM     Profile for Dr. Katzenjammer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Scheiß- Waß was zhat?- I can't see- !!

He hammers on Crakinpotz'es helmet

"Nicht Scheißen- train over to ze left- I am sure I saw movement zhere before zhat damn light blinded me- Now zhey have gone too FAR-"

Crakinpotz, blind as a bat, trains the Spandua over to the left, approximately in the direction where Jaques and Artemis is hiding

Katzenjammer hits him on the helmet again
"Feuer!"

BRAAPPPP TTT TTT, BRAAPPP TTT TTT
(On the 1,2,3, 1,2,3 Vieniese waltz rhytm)

The tracer fly out over the Channel at first, but them drops lower, starting to tear through the branches of the bush where the Frenchman are hiding. The bullets are starting to get closer and closer- Maybe they have not gone FAR enough?

BRAAPPPP TTT TTT, BRAAPPP TTT TTT


[This message has been edited by Dr. Katzenjammer (edited 12-08-1999).]


Posts: 102 | From: Tranzelvania | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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Member # 666

posted 12-08-1999 02:36 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Tannethal steps out of the fieldhq and walks fast towards the three mechanicans, standing near the wrecked hangar.

"Siegfried, Eberhard I need a automibile un u beide will acompany me to Marienburg!"
"Ahemmm Herr Lt ze cars were all shmashed in ze Airangriff, ze only one left is ze Steyr 1500 von Oberst Ritter, but den we can't take."
"Quatsch, de depp needz no car."

And so Siegfried Eberhard and Tannethal walk towards the parking lot, where a dozen smashed cars stand even a wrecked Alfa 156 and the burnt out Kübelwagen of Schatten.
They board the only one intact, a Steyr 1500 Commanders car with a softtop. Tannethal streches himself out on the rear seat while Siegfried takes the drivers seat and Eberhard sits down to his right. After a brief drive Tannethal passes into dreamland, caused by the lack of sleep in the last days. After some time he comes back to a dazing state and
ask himself why the eifelturm stands on the way from Nordholz to Marienburg. But he's to tired to draw any conclusions and so falls back asleep.

His sleep is suddenly interrupted by the sharp barking sounds of a MG42.
He open eyes and sits upright in the rear of the Steyr. The night is lit by a flare decending down to the ground far ahead he can see a burning Tiger Ie and odd looking green tracers erupting from the bushes.
"SSSSiiieegfried what de hell goes on zhere?????"
The light fades and the MG is silent for a moment.
"Aheeem Herr Lt I believe we have verdriven us somewhere behind Bremen. I hav no idee where we are."
"Sch! Can u hear this rush? Soundz like waves, soundz like grosse waves!, Tannethal stops right here and after taking in consideration the sight of the Eifelturm and looking briefly on his watch, he shouts at Siegfried" U *dumbfool we are somewhere on the Atlantic coast!!"
At this point Tannethal curses a lot at the poor Siegfried, cause of younger readers we can't place it here.
The MG starts rumbling to live again, shooting into a other direction but the purpose is unclear to the three in the Steyr.
"Scheisse, runder von der road Siegfried down zhis way to ze left!"
Siegfried does as ordered and drives left from the road down the slope. When the frontlights mirrors in the water he drives left and now straight on the beach.
Suddenly the headlights pick up a lone standing plane, coming closer they see a Me 410 sitting right on the beach.

What will the three do with Rommels plane?
Where is Rommel and shultzie?
And what's with the brave man and woman from the FAR?

[This message has been edited by Tannethal (edited 12-08-1999).]


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Edwin Rommel
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Member # 357

posted 12-08-1999 03:50 AM     Profile for Edwin Rommel   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
"Shulzie- down, down!"

Shultzie and Rommel dives down into the sand as the bright light errupts overhead- the MG42 stops for a while, and then resumes- the tracers flying lower and lower over the beach-

Suddenly a Stier 1500 with headlights blazing bumps onto the beach-

Shultzie immediatly pulls his Schmeisser Machine pistole round and fires a short burst at the car- dousing the two headlights

"ACHTUNG- Don't du Dumkopfs realize zhere ist ein War on- what ist mit der lights- Ze whole of ze Tommie army can see zhat !"

Near Dover an observer has indeed spotted the flashing light and flames on the French coast, and the big 18" Coastal guns are at this moment raising to their maximum elevation- The huge bags of powder to propel the enormous HE warheads already in place.

The Barrels swing around until they are pointing towards the position where lights on the French Coast has now suddenly been doused.

The tongues of flame shooting from the huge barrels cause a false dawn to break on the Tommy coast.

The huge shells tear skywards at a 45°angle- on their way to the Beach where Rommel and Tannethal waits.


Posts: 4399 | From: Dusty Oasis, Nord Afrika | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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Member # 666

posted 12-08-1999 04:35 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Suddenly the Steyr is hit by a burst of automatic weapons fire, smashing the headlights and the radiator!
Tannethal quickly jumps from the rearseat of the steyr and heads for cover.

"Los Siegfried un Eberhard want you to wait for a second burst???"

Both mechanicas leave the car rapidly and drop to the ground. Tannethal draws his Walter and aims in the darkness.
"Lay zhe veapons down and surrender, u hav been eincircled!!"

Shultzie "Herr Tannethal is zhat u??? I'm it, Shultzie!"
"Why zhe hell did u shoot at my car???"
To the northeast a bright flash is visible.
Shultzie: "Cause of ze costal Tommie Guns Herr Tannenthal!!!!"
A steadily growing whistle sounds is heard, cause the HE-shells have finished their climb and entered their downward angle towards the beach!

"Scheisse, all maenners take your legs into zhe hands and run!!!!!!"

Will Rommel, Shultzie, Tannethal and his ACmechanicans escape the decending danger?
Will they run FAR enough to surive?

[This message has been edited by Tannethal (edited 12-08-1999).]


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-08-1999 04:44 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The huge shells pass over the beach and impact around the flaming wreck of the Tiger I E. Huge gouts of earth shoot upwards, and the Tiger dissapears behind flying earth and flames. The hedges around the fields are flattened by the blast,and both Katzenjammer and Crakinpotz are covered under flying sods of earth- the sound arrives milliseconds after the blast and removes all hope Crakinpotz had of hearing normally after firing the MG 42 with no ear protection.

Far-away near Dover the huge guns inches upwards for their next shot- They jump back on their muzzle brakes, and emits another set of shells

[This message has been edited by Narrator (edited 12-08-1999).]


Posts: 207 | From: | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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Member # 666

posted 12-08-1999 07:08 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The five men were running up the beach as the
shells impact somewhere behind the beach in the bushes. The detonation knocks them all from the feet and buries them with dirt.
Rommel is the first one back up.
"Auf Up the nachste von might nicht miss us!"
the other ones stuggle themself back to their feet, right in time to see the second flash of light on the english beach.
Shultzie, "Scheiss ze schone Messerschmitt, I
kann not leave zheir behind!!!" and he starts
runing for the plane.
"Shultzie lass, ze fuel is used up, Tannethal to ze Steir!" Rommel shouts over the whistling sound of the incoming shells. Shultzie turns and they all ran together to the Steyr, while the whistling sounds grews to deafeningly volume.

Will they make it for the Steyr?


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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Member # 1077

posted 12-08-1999 10:02 PM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The huge shells churn up the shallow seawater into a cloud of mist and dead fish-The Tommies are doing the classic- over- under-on sequence!

The five men are now on a flat-out for the Steyr.

Far away near Dover the gaping smoking mouths of the 18" guns drop an inch or two. They rush backwards spewing out huge tongues of flame, sending another salvo of shells hurtling towards the French Coast- this time the third in a deadly sequence.

Shultzie reaches the Steyr first and starts cranking the engine, while the rest of the crowd tumbles into the car in a heap.

The engine catches, miss and stalls.......

[This message has been edited by Narrator (edited 12-08-1999).]


Posts: 207 | From: | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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Member # 1077

posted 12-09-1999 04:40 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The Shells tear through the night sky above the channel, and have just reached the apex of their flight. Almost in unison the noses drop, and they start the last 15 km of their flight towards that beach in France
Posts: 207 | From: | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Dr. Katzenjammer
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Member # 750

posted 12-09-1999 05:03 AM     Profile for Dr. Katzenjammer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Katzenjammer shakes his head- his ears are buzzing so much he can’t hear a thing- he pushes the sods to one side, and struggles to his knees- looking in the direction of the bush – or rather where the bush was- where the two Frenchmen were hiding. He can see two shapes, but they seem to be lying very still.

Katzenjammer drags Crakinpotz out of the heap of disturbed soil by the collar of his white coat, and shoulders the MG42.- They move over towards the Frenchmen- Suddenly the shoreline erupts in smoke and mist as the second Tommy salvo crashes down-

They rush forward and drop down behind the two inert forms. Jaques and Artemis seem to be out for the count.

Katzenjammer grins- he quickly shouts some instructions to Crakinpotz, and together they undress the two Frenchmen, and swop clothes with them, leaving them behind with two white laboratory coats.

They hear the tearing canvas sound of heavy shells approaching--


Posts: 102 | From: Tranzelvania | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-09-1999 05:14 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
At the nearby Ponte du Hoc a sleepy German Gun crew has finally trained the monster gun around to point towards Dover. The crew chief, one Karl von Vasser- A man with a chip on his shoulder and a bone to pick with Von Hess

http://www.combatsim.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/000455.htm

has in the meantime been transferred to the Coastal defence battery- he is one angry man, and not in the mood to be disturbed in his sleep.

“Feuer!” he shouts

The Krupp monster barks, and the monster shell speeds towards the far-away flashes near Dover.

[This message has been edited by Narrator (edited 12-09-1999).]


Posts: 207 | From: | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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Member # 666

posted 12-09-1999 05:51 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
"Shultzie get zhat verdammt engine working!!!"
Shultzie jumps out of the car to it's front and opens the cover.
He curses at the wires cut by his maschinepistole salvo but finaly manges to fumble the right ones back together, he rushes back onto the drivers seat.
When turning the ignition key the engine sputters once and then rumbles to live.

Meanwihle the Shells are closing the distance to the beach with increasing speed!The whistling sound grews even louder that the last time.

Shultzie pushes the first gear in and the steyr jumps forward and acclerates.


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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Member # 1077

posted 12-09-1999 06:00 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
About 1 km away something amazing is about to happen- the shell fired by Von Vasser are heading diagonally towards the trajectory of the approaching Tommy shells, at EXACTLY the same height, and at EXACTLY the same point in time they shells reach the same point in the sky.

The huge shells do not need much encouragement- with the nose-cone fuses smashed, they do what shells do best- They explode!

The tremendous shock-wave from the airburst of nearly 1 ton of TNT sweeps across the sea and towards the beach and the crouching forms of Katzenjammer, Crackinpotz, the Frenchman, Von Hess and his crew- who are only now picking themselves up slowly from close to the wreck of their Tiger, and the madly accelerating Steyr with it’s 5 occupants

[This message has been edited by Narrator (edited 12-09-1999).]


Posts: 207 | From: | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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posted 12-10-1999 02:57 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The first thing caught by the sockwave and the fragments of the shells is Rommels good old reliable Me410. It's caught on the rear, turned over and blown over the beach like being a sheet of paper and in the process torn apart.
Tannethals brave ACmechanicans look the scene in fascination and growing horror. "Heilige mutter gottes!!!!" one of them whispers.
Moments later the the Steyr and it's five occupants were caught by the force of the explosion. It's lifted in the air rolled over five times and then crashes into the bushes behind the beach.
The shockwave runs trough the bushes and tores them apart.
The bodies of the french were blown over the ground and also Dr. Katzenjammer and his companion were lifted from their feet.
At least the crew of the tiger started to run for cover but were in the futile attemp overrun by the brute force of the detonation.

Are ther any surivors?


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Dr. Katzenjammer
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posted 12-10-1999 03:06 AM     Profile for Dr. Katzenjammer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The tremendous blast bowls Katzenjammmer and Crakinpotz over, sending them tumbling into a nearby ditch, and nearly causing Katzenjammer to spill wine from the bottle he found in Artemis’s coat pocket. Fortunately Katzenjammer manages to keep the bottle upright, and thereby escaped the unforgivable crime of wasting wine in France.

He takes a good swig and passes the bottle to Crakinpotz, who just now has managed to untangle himself from the ammunition belts and MG 42 parts, as well as the old Leclercq rifle that Artemis had.

“OI VEY CRAKINPOTZ- DO YOU SEE VHAT I ( hic) SJEE- STOP ZHAT AUTO RUNNINK AWAY- ZHEY CANNOT GO AWAY BEFORE ZE FUN IST OVER”

Remember Katzenjammer’s hearing is gone because of the first salvo that exploded close-by just now!- That is why the shouting is going on- fortunately, nobody’s attention has been drawn by this as yet!

Crakinpotz manages to set the MG 42 on it’s stand, reacting more to Katzenjammer’s gestures rather that what he says, since his ears are in an even worse shape!

“FEUER!!!!!”

BRAAAPPPP TTTT TTTTT, BRAAPPPP TTTT TTTT

The tracer fingers reach for the Steyr 1500's wreck, getting closer and closer to the five bodies strewn all over the dirt track. The Steyr explodes as the tracer fingers finds the benzine tank

[This message has been edited by Dr. Katzenjammer (edited 12-10-1999).]


Posts: 102 | From: Tranzelvania | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-10-1999 03:19 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Meanwhile Karl von Vasser and his crew has just decided that an invasion is probably imminent, and are sounding the general alarm for all the regional shore battries, while desperately turning the huge Krupp monster gun to face the beach where the huge explosion just occurred.

Across at Dover the Tommies are also pleased with the huge secondary explosion that followed their last salvo, and are desperately re-loading!


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Jacques Renard
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posted 12-10-1999 05:14 AM     Profile for Jacques Renard   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Jacques Renard, brave resistance fighter from Montreal, opens his eyes. Then closes them again and wipes away the blood caused by the 7.92mm bullet that grazed his skull.

He looks down.
"What the hell!" he exclames. His black jumpsuit is gone, replace by an ancient brown suit and white lab coat. He reaches down to his hip.
"Sacre bleu!" his faithful chrome Colt .45 is gone. He reaches to his shoulder.
"Dammit!" his WWI Luger automatic is gone too.
Fortunatly his little grey 6.5mm Berelli is still attached to his ankle.

Jacques rolls over. There lies his friend and former Hawk 75 pilot, Artemis. Sadly it seems that Artemis is now also his former friend. He has been done in by an evil german MG-42.

Looking down at the beach Jacques sees alot of wreckage. Among the pieces of Tiger Ie strewn around the beach lie a thoughaly smashed up Me-410 and an overturned german staff car.

On the ground in front of him is a german tank crewman. He is still recovering from the shockwave. Jacques hits him over the head with his Berelli.

Jacques speaks briefly in french into his little radio, then, cocking the Mauser he has just aquired, he heads down to the beach.

"Aha!" he says "ah got you now, German scum."

Out over the sea, a light blue and silver Boeing 247 begins a slow turn and heads back for the beach, even as it comes into visual range two aircraft form on it's wings. A white Dewontine D.520 and a green Douglas Boston. Both carry marking of the Free French Air Force.


Posts: 15 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-10-1999 05:26 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Almost simutaneously the big guns on both side of the channel bark, sending their enormous shells toward the tiny beach on the French coast- These shells are not aware of the congested air-space near the beach, as a matter of fact, they are on a collision course with the flight of FAR aircraft.

The FAR aircraft would have to turn away soon, otherwise it will be FAR too late !


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JG26(P) von Vampr
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posted 12-10-1999 09:53 AM     Profile for JG26(P) von Vampr   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
A lone BF109 G-6 flys a fighter sweep over the Channel . In the distance large flashes of light on the French coast get the pilots attention . As the brave pilot thunders towards the French coastline ,he shakes his head in disbelief at the scene thats unfolding in front of him .

OOOHHH MEINE GOTT !!!(throwing his bottle of schnapps out of the canopy , rubbing his eyes , he looks out again just as a Boeing 247 , a Dewontine D520 and a Douglas Boston start to appear thru the clouds of smoke rising from the beach . They appear to have the markings of the F.A.R.)

Ich don't know vhat ze hell ist goinz on here , but zat Boeing ist ready for ze kannone !!

Throttling back ,von Vampr lines up the big Boeing in his gunsight . Just as he's going to pull the trigger a tremendous explosion rocks the Emil and throws von Vampr from the cockpit . As von Vampr plummets towards the beach , cursing himself for not belting in , he fumbles for the d-ring to release the chute . Will he find the ring in time ? Will too much schnapps be the end of him ?


[This message has been edited by JG26(P) von Vampr (edited 12-10-1999).]

[This message has been edited by JG26(P) von Vampr (edited 12-10-1999).]

[This message has been edited by JG26(P) von Vampr (edited 12-10-1999).]


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Dr. Katzenjammer
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posted 12-12-1999 10:46 PM     Profile for Dr. Katzenjammer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Katzenjammer desperately hits Crakinpotz on the Helmet- "RECHTS, RECHTS, MACH SCHNELL!!!, FEUER!"

Crakinpotz swings the gun around to cover the form of one of the Frenchman that has struggled to his feet, but then promptly lifts his aim upwards to the three aircraft that has just broken trough the mist.

He opens up , but suddenly stops firing and slumps forward over the MG 42. The cause?
A schnapps bottle dropping from heavens has just knocked his out.

Katzenjammer catches the bottle in a intercepting catch that would have made many a baseball player at half his age envious.

As Katzenjammer looks upwards to thank the gods, he sees a burning wreck of an aircraft spiraling down towards the sea, and a lone figure descending on a parachute.

[This message has been edited by Dr. Katzenjammer (edited 12-13-1999).]


Posts: 102 | From: Tranzelvania | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-13-1999 01:13 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The one shell that bit the tail of the Me.109G is missing from the flight of four. But this does not affect the brainless ballistic progress of the others, they continue towards the beach, the FAR aircraft still directly in their path!
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Edwin Rommel
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posted 12-13-1999 01:26 AM     Profile for Edwin Rommel   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Meanwhile Rommel and Shultzie have recovered sufficiently to start taking notice of the happenings around them. Rommel looks around and then drags a map of the Atlantic seawall defences out of a trouser pocket- he studies it carefully in the light of the flames of the burning Tiger 1E .

“Zhis must be St.Pol sur Mer!- SHULTZ- according to zhis zhere has to be a Koningstiger burried hull-down arround zhat clump ob bushes zhere!- Let’s find it!”

“Jawohl Herr Feldmarshall- Ich hate to be out here mit ze shells falling all around- let us see if ve can find it und come back für Tannethal und his men!”

The two set off for the clump of bushes, just as the first Salvo of Karl von Vasser’s battery smashes into the beach behind them.


[This message has been edited by Edwin Rommel (edited 12-13-1999).]


Posts: 4399 | From: Dusty Oasis, Nord Afrika | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tannethal
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posted 12-13-1999 03:27 AM     Profile for Tannethal     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Tannethal is slow in recovering from the accident. As he looks for his two mechanicans he only sees Eberhard lying on his back coching heavily, vomitting blood. the figure shivers and then goes limb.
"Scheisse, Scheisse, Scheisse,
Siegfried where bist du?? Eberhard is hin! We
must weg von zhe strand!"
A small figure stumbles to his legs and starts walking towards the Lt.
There is a faint hum heard in the air,looking skywards Tannethal sees three planes flying in line and a foruth one following them. Suddenly the fourth which turned out to be a Me109 desintegrates and the pilot decends in his cute to the ground! And there was it the whistling sound!!

"Auuuu Kacke, Siegfried zhose crazies graben den strand um mit zhe scheiss shells, renn!!" and Tannethal starts running past the FM and Shultzie, who just disapeared in the bushes.
As Tannethal has run nearly 50m the shells bounce far behind right into the beach, with what results we can only speculate.

Suddenly the brave Siegfried flies over the head of the Lt. and lands a bare meters in front of him!
"Herrejeee jetzt takes zhe kerl auch noch flugstunden!"
"AAAAUUUUUAAAA Herr Lt. can u helf me back on my fuesse?"
Tannethal helps him up and as he watches ahead he spotts a hull down Tiger just being boarded by Rommel and Shultzie.
"Hinnerdrein, zhe two hav gefunden a shelter!"


Posts: 537 | From: Olbernhau Germany | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Shultzie
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posted 12-13-1999 03:47 AM     Profile for Shultzie   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Shultzie opens the grid above the huge Maybach HL 230 12 cylinder. It gleams in the flickering flames from the shore. He opens the fuel tank and pushes a small stick inside- it comes out covered in diesel!

“Ach –we are in business!”- he jumps into the driver’s seat and starts cranking the huge engine.

With a couple of exhaust crackles the huge engine catches, and Shultzie promptly engages reverse, and starts backing out of the revetment.



The huge shells are crashing on the shore at regular intervals now, steadily moving inland as the aim at far-away Dover and nearby Pont-du-Hoc are adjusted.

[This message has been edited by Shultzie (edited 12-13-1999).]


Posts: 77 | From: Zhomevhere near Feldmarschall Rommel | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Dr. Katzenjammer
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posted 12-13-1999 03:59 AM     Profile for Dr. Katzenjammer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Katzenjammer shoves Crakinpotz to the side, clips a new belt in the reciever and cocks the MG 42 again. He points the gun upwards towards the FAR planes, and allowing plenty of lead on the Dewiotaine, pulls the trigger!

BRAAPPPP TTT TTT, BRAAAPPPPPPAPP

The tracer creeps upwards towards the aircraft, rising lazily into the air, and then suddenly seem to increase in speed as it smashes through the engine of the slowly banking aircraft. The 7.92 mm bullets tear the coolant pipes and smashes three of the cylinder heads.

The stricken aircraft wobbles in the air...


Posts: 102 | From: Tranzelvania | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-13-1999 04:07 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Karl von Vasser are growing more and more worried- maybe this shooting at the beach is not such a good idea?- He has been watching the flashes from the coastline near Dover, and by now has a good fix on the far-away target. The Tommies seem to target the beach as well, and if they are shooting at the beach, maybe he should be shooting at something else- he makes up his mind

“Feuer einstellen- Schnell, new target- DOVER COASTLINE ! “

The Huge Krupp cannon on it’s railway car turns slowly in the direction of DOVER

“Mach Schnell- ve must get zhose Tommy guns!”


Posts: 207 | From: | Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
Narrator
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posted 12-13-1999 04:35 AM     Profile for Narrator   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The huge Tiger II grinds towards the beach, two possible targets present themselves- Von Hess and his crew of the stricken Tiger I E,or the mad Frenchman with his colorful Aerial friends- what will it be.

The 88mm KwK 43L/71 sniffs the air...looking for prey


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