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Author Topic: SABOTAGE ! BAHHH !
The Croc
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 01:30 PM       Edit/Delete Post
yea....laugh it up fritz ......you didnt just get droped at 175 MPH for a belly landing.....Hey thats was pretty good.....if it didnt hurt so much Id laugh .

so they say we wont blow you up this time ...yea right! Croc in a Firing range....am I the only one who sees a problem here???

so what the deal here.....Zombie to the left of me .....von Hess to the right.....well good thing hes temporarily out of that T34 ....what the Hell was I gonna do against a tank.....it would be "then the tank track " .....or "the high powered cannon"....

and whats the deal this weird ammo that guy was trying to load on his plane...smells preety good.....Hmmmmmm tastes like chicken!!

Maybe I caught a break in this MST 2000 series....

Besides I owe vonHess !


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CFrancisco
Member
Member # 33

posted 11-11-1999 01:43 PM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
HHHHMMM ZT grun zhing looks familiar... fritz du field glasses.. SCHEISS!! i knew it! es ist der crocodile! ernst du panzer schreck mach schon! take aim for his mouth und dont miss! zer ist a tick tock hidden in zer und if ve hit it he vill blow up JA!.. easy easy take careful aim JA!... *****WWWHHHHOOOOOOSSSHHHHHH... BBBBOOOOOMMMMM!!*****

SCHEISS!! du missed .. once again! schnell schnell!!


Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Dr Katzenjammer
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 01:44 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Dr K: did you see what I saw ????

Dr C : YOU vant to ride a see/saw ..???!!!
Get a hold of yourselv man....

Dr K : NEIN ....did you see dat....??

Dr C: I ist hopin you ist gonna say that vot you saw vas a VERY PISSSTT CROC being Dropped off by dat 109.....

Dr K : uuhhh, yea....dats what I thought I SAW !!???


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The Croc
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 01:55 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Great, just great....

Im not on this tread for 5 minutes and I have ZIGFRIED & ROY commenting on me .....

and surprise , surprise ......he takes aim at CROC BABY with a PANZER SHRECK !!

well contract says:
"get hess into T-34 or no $$$ "

well time to make a buck

snarl snarl , snap snap, Im a most Dangerous thing here ,The Croc ,{how pathetic
not the tanks , not the 88MM guns , or ME109
NOOOOOO not THAT } yup ist is I the secret weapon ....who writes this stuff???
FEAR ME !!! snap


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CFrancisco
Member
Member # 33

posted 11-11-1999 02:00 PM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
MEIN GOTT!! here he comes!!.. quick fritz ze black bag! JA JA zhat ist it now start blowing!! ... ***FFFFFPPPPP FFFFFPPPPPP FFFFFPPPP FFFFPPPP***
(hess and fritz busy themselves blowing into the large black bag and from the bag imerges first and arm then a leg then a BIG FRILLY tri-cornerned hat.)

JA JA zhat ist it keep blowing ernst keep firing give us time!

JAWOHL!! ***WWHHHOOOSSSHHH BBOOOOMMM .. WWWHHHHOSSSSHHH BBBOOOMMM***


Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Helmut
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 02:11 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Battery 2
The gunner looks through a pair of ranger finders .....

MEIN GOTTT !!
SCHNELL SCHNELL

herr Schultz what you want I should do ??
load der 88 mit ze special HE ???

Schultz....nein nein get met a bottle od SCHNOPPS !!!! Ist going to need it!!

thinking he hasnt heard right ....the 88 crew member looks through the range finder...
then at another crewmen .....VELL dont just stand there........SCHNOPPS !!!

and then turns to Schultz in a tone of confidenciality says " Croc? "

YA.......Croc ........


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Karl von Vasser
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 02:20 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Battery 4

seeing a trail of smoke from a PanzerShreck

Ver dat kome from???? it vas by battery 2 dat Schlutz guy......

now he checks with the range finders ....

Von Hess !!! ha!

zo Herr Hess who lives in a barn !
now it makes sense why you no shot back in zee tank !!! ist Nicht there !


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Schatten
Member
Member # 93

posted 11-11-1999 02:21 PM     Profile for Schatten   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Schatten finishes reloading his FG-42 and looks back up, taking cover behind the wrecked tail of his Ju 88. "Scheisse Franz I told du to leave sie ammo on sie TOP of mein flight kit, look at all zis now. Ach Himmel.."

He looks to the left just as the croc puts on his menacing show, nodding slightly,"Alles normaaaaal..." He sees the grazing fire being put down by the respective Vons,"Alles gut..." He sees the mummy-like Hein Kill,"Ahhh Herr Brando, guten morgen..." Everything seems to be coming together nicely, he looks to the Pak 88's and his brows knit together,"Ist zat? Could it be?"

He pulls out his field glasses and zooms in on Dr. Katzenjammer,"DU!!" He bellows,"Der Horrido! Der Horrido!" He quickly leaps back down behind the Ju 88 and grabs his hapless tailgunner Franz by the scruff of the neck with one hand and his Bag Mit Der Grenades with the other. Ducking behind all that can be seen is a map being drawn in the dirt with the bayonette of the FG-42 and the startled,"Mein Gott! Du vanna do vhat!?!" that Franz yells out.


Posts: 2938 | From: Land of the Lost | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
The Croc
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 02:33 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Panzersherck ----SMANZER CREEK !!!
Im duckin..... dont care about the "give the audience what they want....and you a pro" rubbish.... never hear that at RAISE time.

Hey more of this "ammo" snap snap
<uuuuurrrp!>

pardon,


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Dr Katzenjammer
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 03:39 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Leaning by a tree ,

Dr. K : Well looks like you owe meinself 5 marks!!!

Dr C: what chu be talkin ???

Dr. K : Schultz Scored last on the T 34 !

Dr C: so Vot??? it Schrapnel glanced off und hit hit zat pink Panzer near us in derr turret !
OOOEEEVAH ! vot a Racket ! .

Dr K: so dats the closed to gettin vonHess yet ......

Dr C . VOOOPEE DOO ......Tell you what, I bet 10 marks dat the CROC gets him before Herr Brando out there......

Dr K: hee hee , you betcha boots ...Heiny may not be vot he used to be ....but he ist a competitor ....and I think Expierence as well as a good offense will decide this one.....


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Schatten
Member
Member # 93

posted 11-11-1999 03:52 PM     Profile for Schatten   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Schatten's brave tailgunner Franz appears from behind the wrecked tail of the Ju 88, he is now wearing the Kaiser's Own Hussars' shako model 1812 as well as being bedecked with bandoleers of grenades. Muttering under his breath about Prussians he deftly jumps to the flank of the crocodile eating the 'ammuntion' and begins a headlong charge straight towards the tree where Dr. Katzenjammer and company are having their betting your booties conversation, screaming at the top of his lungs he begins the 300+ meterdash. "Ayyyyyyyyyyaaaaaahhhhhhh!!"

Meanwhile...

Schatten grabs his FG-42 and drops to the ground, crawling on his belly like a reptile towards a small grassy knoll off to the side muttering to himself about magic bullets and a fistfull of Euros.


Posts: 2938 | From: Land of the Lost | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
VonBroam
Member
Member # 39

posted 11-11-1999 04:01 PM     Profile for VonBroam   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Siegfried and Ulath survey the chaos from the safety of a quiet beerhall located at the top af a small hill (it is quiet because all of the patrons are dead drunk!!)

Siegfried: give those field glasses, it is my turn to watch now.

Ulath, with a somewhat shocked expression on his face hand his brother the Glasses

Siegfried: Mien Gott vat the hell is a crocadile doing down zere???

They both turn and look at one another, then as if sharing the same thought they went to wake up one of the beer girls to fetch them some much needed refreshments, and to forget the events of the day.

VonBroam out

[This message has been edited by VonBroam (edited 11-11-1999).]


Posts: 327 | From: Beaufort, South Carolina | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Croc
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 04:17 PM       Edit/Delete Post
Well theres something you dont see every day.....someguy in a WWI helmut screaming like a banshee.....

things ARE lookin up

still .....dont trust Hess though....1st he has a Machine gun ...then a Panzershreck....what is this BAT HESS???....nexthing you know Robin gonna show....Lord knows I could use a side kick....those two guys on the hill arent doing me any good getting all Liquored up.....
and whats with this 3 pointed hat out of a black bag deal ???? Whos this guy think he is Felix the CAT? ....I tell ya I dont like it ....

First its the Croc having a snack then next ya know Im in GUCCIS show window as a travelers set ......

Well not this time .....If I get him in the tank fine, a little $ for a nest egg...
If I gotta shot though Im takin it ....hee hee just on little bite would make the whole trip worth it...smack, smack

oh. almost forgot.....SNARL ,SPIT SNARL ,Snort!

Looks back at the Zombie....HEY PAL , get the lead out .....and Stop callin me Stella !

lookin about
Is that some more ammo head!!!......WOO HOO IM THERE !!


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Black Bag
unregistered

posted 11-11-1999 11:02 PM       Edit/Delete Post
AHH Transistion, transistion- This is sooo boring- always have to go through this- somebody blowing their foul sauerkraut and bratwurst breaths into me just to give me shape and form- alas but an illusion of my true worth?

I start off as a condom, traverse through a black rubbish bag phase, a discarded sex doll, a squishy alien, a leaking pool toy to my real OWN SELF for a moment !!

AHA- BLOW ME SCUPPERS- CAPTAIN HOOK SAILS THE SEVEN SEAS- TREMBLE YE LANDLUBBERS- HOOK'S HERE !!!

AT MY FULLY INFLATED FURIOUS SELF- (Now selling at Toy-R-Us for an amazing low $9.99- while stocks last)


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Tobiwan
Member
Member # 420

posted 11-12-1999 12:32 AM     Profile for Tobiwan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
The battlefield on the third day of the "von hess" war.

Brave french resistance fighter and multiple shootdown surviver Jacques Pierre Renard, chrome .45 Colt Double Eagle in hand, peers over the ridge. Alongside him are four of his brave sidekicks.
Michele, his "friend", former pilot of a Fairy Battle, cluching a small Berelli .25 autmatic pistol.
Bernadotte, Michele's gunner, holding the .303 Lewis machingun from the Fairy.
And Artemis LeClerc, former pilot of a Curtis Hawk, recently shot down by a pink T-34, carrying an ex-german army (hehe) Mauser 7.62mm Rifle.

Together they survey the crazy battle.

A.Leclerc: What is zat black thing?

Jacques: I do not know.

Bernadotte: What ze hell is the crocodile doing zere?!

Jacques: I do not know.

Michele: What are we going to do?

Jacques: You see zat old beerhall over there!

Michele: Jacques! You cannot, we must fight for france, ze 're so many germans here!!

Jacques: I'm tired, I'm thirsty and they seem to be doing a very good job of killing themselves!

Michele: JACQUES! If you do not 'elp us bravly fight the jerries, you will not get any tonight!

Bernadotte: Not from me either.

LeClerc: I'll ATTACK THEM!

Michele and Bernadotte: Shut up!

Jacques: Very well.


Posts: 893 | From: Amanzimtoti, KWA-Zulu, South Africa | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Tobiwan
Member
Member # 420

posted 11-12-1999 12:47 AM     Profile for Tobiwan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Carefully our brave resistance fighers creep over the ridge, heading toward the middle of the battlefield where the wrecked Ju-88 is parked. All the while they are calling resistance HQ for backup!

The grounded germans consisting of the commander of the Tiger, the crew of the T-34, the crew of the Ju-88 and the crew of the Fw-190A-12 have more or less formed up and are attacking the 88mm batteries. They in turn are behind harassed by a crocodile and a strange Zombie, that, despite the numerous .303, 9mm Luger and .45 Colts slugs that have been put into in, seems to be ok.

Nevertheless, despite the fact that their antagonists are to distracted to pay them any attention our brave french fighters are in IN VERY REAL DANGER!

Do not for a moment think THAT THERE IS NO SUSPENCE AND DANGER HERE!!

Will our four friends survive??
Will the FAR send reenforcments?
Will one of the germans turn around?
IS SOMEONE GOING TO KILL THAT DAMN ZOMBIE!?


Posts: 893 | From: Amanzimtoti, KWA-Zulu, South Africa | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
FAR HQ
unregistered

posted 11-12-1999 12:59 AM       Edit/Delete Post
Jaques Radio comes to life (barely)
-ssshdhhh............... squackschreasaddh .... FAR,............... brrttttt..... Youve gone too FAR....schhhhhhhhh..... try to find Aircraft to come and help you to get out .bleepppp...... FAR OUT MAN .ddrrrrrr...... FAR AWAY !..plinkplink.... END....shhhhshhh


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Inflateable Captain Hook
unregistered

posted 11-12-1999 01:54 AM       Edit/Delete Post
YAR YAR YAR HO HO- AND A BOTLLE OF RUM !!!! TAR ME FEATHERS ME HEARTIES- THERE IS NO MAN BORN THAT I FEAR-

The now fully inflated Captian Hook with the rakish triangular cap with the large red feather appears by the side of the T34, smoke drifts over the scene, making it highly theatrical-

Will the crocodile see his old friend from Peter Pan Days, what will the Hein Kill Zombie think of competition of another life-less actor in this macabre drama- Stay tuned!- How about we continue this thread in a new thread- this is getting a tad long and difficult to read?- Where's Butcherbird 13- Hpw 'bout it?


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Tobiwan
Member
Member # 420

posted 11-12-1999 02:25 AM     Profile for Tobiwan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Having heard the radio message to be recalled but also wanting to kill germans Jacques is undercicded.

Should he go help with the attack on the Flanker 2.0 Forum?

Meanwhile, 5 miles away an old light blue Beoing 247 twin-egined 14seat transport is coming in at low-level escourted by a single Curtis Hawk 75 piloted by Resistance fighter Philipe Morrisette.

It's mission, extract the FAR fighters!


Posts: 893 | From: Amanzimtoti, KWA-Zulu, South Africa | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
CFrancisco
Member
Member # 33

posted 11-12-1999 07:08 AM     Profile for CFrancisco   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
OH SCHEISS!!! there goes ze surprise!! .. fritz who told zem ve had ze inflatetable Captain HOOK!

ZAT ist it give me ze green bag!
NIEN NIEN!! Herr VonHess not zat one please not zat one!!

**Hess strips off his Black Panzer Tunic and reaches into his green bag pulling out a green felt hat with a long green feather attached to it. pulling on green tights and a suede leather Robin hood outfit(errol flynn style) and suddenly springs into the fray with the croc holding his Waffen-SS dagger screaming**

"I AM PETER PAN I AM PETER PAN! Fly fritz fly!!LOOK FRITZ I CAN FLY!!"


Posts: 4364 | From: NYC, NY | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
ButcherBird13
Member
Member # 270

posted 11-12-1999 09:30 AM     Profile for ButcherBird13   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Well Im gone for a few days come back and see 99 replys to my post so I think "what is everyone on the zone getting von HESS? LOL!

Then I see the "progression" this Post has taken.....I knew certain members would enjoy me giving von Hess a hard time .....never expected a full battle !!!hahahaahaaaa GOOD TO HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS huh ,Cfran

Talk about a post taking on a life of its own ......THIS IS GREAT!!!

I have laugh so hard getting caught up my sides hurt....

Btw: Kilroy, glad you stuck around , I take it the "CROC" was your idea LOL!!

So many good ones here.......when "Schatten"
donned the helmut and went into the charge I was glad I wasnt drinking anything.....I hate to clean my keyboard

I try to write something clever when I get caught up at home and with this "SAGA"....

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK EVERYBODY !!!!

I agree this is getting long so lets cont this here:
http://www.combatsim.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/000504.html


[This message has been edited by ButcherBird13 (edited 11-12-1999).]


Posts: 292 | From: Holland Western Front | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged

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