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»  COMBATSIM.COM Forum Archive   » Archives   » EAW Archive 1   » 'Ello Garcons! Fou Fou to you! Fifi is back ...

Author Topic: 'Ello Garcons! Fou Fou to you! Fifi is back ...
Fifi Maraudiere
Member # 23

posted 10-29-1999 03:21 AM     Profile for Fifi Maraudiere   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Mes ami! D'abord! I must say the personal and intimé merci to those brave fellows VonBroam, KrashnBurn and Ugo Drago...for rescuing Fifi from the Alien Elvis (I 'ave to admit until I read your stories I did not fully appreciate what 'ad 'appened to me ) and returning 'er to 'er beloved escadrille.

The last few weeks 'ave been a cauchemar, an 'ow you say? nightmare... first there was the in-flight enlèvent, the abduction, as we were bringing 'er 'ome over Dover...then vague memories of strange blue creatures and the operating tableux...then that 'orrible Elvis and the songs...merde, the songs!

Fifi would also like to say thankyou to the chér Pollux for 'is magnifique Fifi Skin:

And to all members of the Fifi is Not Dead club. You were, 'appily, right, though she was close! But chers garçons...Fifi is a little blue For Fifi without Bridgitte, is like the dalmation without 'er spots, the zebra without 'er stripes, (the EAW forum without 'er Cfran...)

Find 'er courageux pilotes!! Find 'er and bring her back to Fifi!!

Now to cheer 'erself up, Fifi is making with the small Friday Fou Fou, which unfortunately is not funny enough to erase the tracks of Fifi's tears...

Adieux garcons and bonne chasse.


PS And to Salvatore (pop pop pop) I like the picture you sent of your camel in the silk pants, it made Fifi smile, which is so 'ard this days.


It seems there was a close call for an Aer Lingus Flight out of Dublin this week. The
pilot had a heart attack and the controllers in the tower had to talk the stewardess through the takeoff.

Posts: 47 | From: | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Petrus and Eugene

posted 10-29-1999 03:37 AM       Edit/Delete Post
Welkom terug Fifi !!

Our joke about Air Lingus:

Paddy (1st officer) and Shamus (2 nd officer) on finals to Dublin airport

" Shamus, just look at that-- hav you seen anything like it before?"

"Paddy, no I must admit, it's weird"

"Allright- not fear- we can do it- when I shout "flaps"- you give me 50 degrees OK"
"When I shout reverse- you give me full reverse thrust- OK"
"And when I shout pray, you PRAY- OK ?"
"OK- here goes- "
The Air Lingus Jumbo shudders at the rapid deceleration and drops on the tarmac with a thump.
The four engines scream in full reverse thrust- scorching the paint of the nearby buildings"
"Oh Mary......."

The Jumbo comes to a halt at the edge of the tarmac, about an inch to spare.

"You know Shamus, I've never seen anything like it"

'Right ye are Paddy, a runway 3 miles wide but only 200 feet long- It realy strange"

Sorry - we go now !

Petrus and Eugene

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Enola Gay
Member # 359

posted 10-29-1999 05:22 AM     Profile for Enola Gay   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Yesssss! Friday is Friday again Fifi! Here's a nice true story about Ireland from my student days, this might cheer you up...


While traveling through Ireland I was mostly hitchiking [busses cost money]. I found, on occasion, it was difficult to get a ride [I'm talking 2 hours with a thumb out]. I figured I need to get someone to stop somehow and if they did I could get a lift from them. I couldn't get anyone to stop so I came up with a scam that I thought would work.

I had a sign with my destination emblazened in large letters. People would just pass by. So on the back of the sign I wrote a destination in the WRONG direction and held that up. Not too shortly after a car pulled up to tell me what a fool I was for being on the wrong road. I asked him where this road
went and when he told me I shrugged and said I was going to be headed in that direction sooner or later showed him the other side of the sign and asked for a ride. Got my ride in less than 10 minutes, every time...

(Not to be rude to the Irish, this ploy later worked all throughout Europe...)

Posts: 28 | From: | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged

posted 10-29-1999 06:00 AM       Edit/Delete Post
Southern Norway, weather check where I am...8 degrees but sunny, my joke (old but all I could find)

AA (American Airlines) - Always Awful
AI (Air India) - Allah Informed
ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival
- Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) - Better On A Camel
- Bloody Old and Careless
CA (China Airlines) - Choose Another
CAAC (Chinese Avation Airl.Comp.) - Chinese Airline Always Canceled
(Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) - China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) - Can't Promise Anything
(New code CAI) - Crash And Ignite
- Call Ambulance Immediately
- Circle Airport Indefinitely
- Cruise Above Iceland
- Cancel Alaskan Itinerary
- Call Attendants "Idiots"
- Check All Items
- Copilots Are Imbeciles
- Casual Atmosphere Inside
DELTA - Don't Even Leave The Airport
- Don't Ever Leave The Airport
- Don't Even Let Them Aboard - Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
EAL (Eastern) - Eastern's Always Late
ELAL - Every Landing Always Late
JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
LOT (Polish Airlines) - Last One There
- Luggage On Tarmack (wave 'bye!)
LUFTHANSA - Let Us F**k The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
PAL (Phil. Airlines) - Philippines Always Late
PAN AM - Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) - Please Inform Allah
- Panic In Air
- Perhaps I Arrive
QANTAS - Queer And Nasty Types As Stewards
SABENA (Belgium) - Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again
- Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) - Stay At Home, Stay Alive
SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) - Sweet And Sexy
- Seldom Any Service
SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) - So Incredible, Aah
TACA - Take A Chance Airline
TAP (Portuguese Airl.) - Take Another Plane
TWA (Transworld Airl.) - Travel Without Arrival
- Try Walking, Asshole
- Try Walking Again
- The Worst Airline
- Took Wrong Airline
- Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective)
- Travel With Arabs
- Terrorist Welcome Aboard
- Terrorists With Arms
- Teenie Weenie Airlines
- Traveling Without Air
- Tiny Wings Aflappin'!!!!!
USAir - Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality

IP: Logged
Member # 21

posted 10-29-1999 07:06 AM     Profile for KrashnBurn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
I was going to post these on the rugby thread but what the heck, you could adapt them to anything so in welcome to Fifi (Yay!!) and the return of the Friday foufou, here they are...

(For those millions of you who dont follow rugby, and before anyone called Chris writes a reply, the 'All Blacks' is the name of the NZ national team. You could substitute the name of any favorite national team you love to hate. Unless you are American, because you guys only ever play sport against yourselves. Why might that be?

Did you hear that the New Zealand Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps.
They had pictures of All Black players on them.
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

- Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
The first one says,"Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open
them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer All Black fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."

Q. What do All Black fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. What do you have when 100 All Black fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead All Black fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and an All Black fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the All Black fan - twice.

Q. What's the difference between the All Blacks and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. How many All Black fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and the coach to say that if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.

[This message has been edited by KrashnBurn (edited 10-29-1999).]

Posts: 92 | From: | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Member # 240

posted 10-29-1999 07:49 AM     Profile for KMHPaladin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Yeah, those jokes could work in the US if you replaced "All Blacks" with "Cowboys..." .

- "The duty of the fighter pilot is to patrol his
area of the sky, and shoot down any enemy
fighters in that area. Anything else is rubbish."
Baron Manfred von Richthofen, 1917
- [email protected]

Posts: 794 | From: RPI - Troy, NY; originally from South Jersey | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Member # 169

posted 10-29-1999 08:40 AM     Profile for Stanley99     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post

I learned a lot about me today, Krash!

Stan the All Black fan

Posts: 3692 | From: Vienna, 3rd rock left | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Member # 125

posted 10-29-1999 11:39 AM     Profile for Opa   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Skywalker ist ze Norweger?

Der Opa

Posts: 710 | From: Sandnes, Rogaland, Norway | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Member # 39

posted 10-29-1999 06:02 PM     Profile for VonBroam   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post
Thank you FIFI we truly appreciate you presence. Now We are assembling a mission to find our beloved Bridgitte. Although Herr Cfran claimed to have seen her in Monaco, we believe now according to more detailed intelligence that she was seen in Columbia, South Carolina last week. I have authorized agents from The Moonpie Investigative Agency to keep us informed. Perhaps she thinks she can blend in with all the pretty Southern Belles.

Fou Fou related humor: What do tou call 2 beggars running for a handout?? The Alms Race.

VonBroam out

Posts: 327 | From: Beaufort, South Carolina | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged
Member # 270

posted 10-30-1999 08:27 AM     Profile for ButcherBird13   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post

You bring a certain ROBUST quality that cant be Duplicated.

Heres a pleasant TRUE WWII story!

Seems a Flight of P51s were landing at a established B17 airfield:
In the radio tower a message came in "this is THE P....5....1 approaching you from the south ,and ready to land MY BE-U-TIF-FUL
MUSTANG on your Runway!"

TOTALLY MIFFED at the young hotshot, An Officer present thought to admonish him with

"This is Tower,You WILL USE proper military protocols when addressing Tower! <then added irritated> ROGER!!???

ROGER DODGER! came the Responce,

everyone now looked at the man holding the mike.

P51 USE PROPER PROTOCOLS !!! <and added an insistent > ROGER??!!

Rodger Dodger ! taunted the pilot

Having had it ,and knowing this was probably a rookie Capt right our of flight school he had an idea.....

P51 ,this is tower , and I AM A MAJOR !!!! You WILL USE proper protocols when addressing this Tower ,AM I CLEAR ???

after slight pause came back the responce:


TRUE STORY as witnessed by my childhood friends Father

Posts: 292 | From: Holland Western Front | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged

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